Danny,

Today makes a month since we lost you. When I woke up this morning, I felt it. They say that time heals,but I find that in time, reality also sets in. Im still not willing to fully accept that your not here with us. It’s hard to manage each day, much less your birthday coming up and then the holidays. I never thought that I even took life for granted, but maybe I did.The last time you I saw you, I only said goodbye. I didn’t say, I love you, be safe or that your so important to us. Maybe I just figured that you knew. You were the one that always made us laugh and we valued every minute with you. Ill miss our long talks, our crazy problems and opening up all of the Christmas presents together that mom buys us every year! You and I thought we were in charge of everything, we ran the show. Now Jeff seems to be the one that will help fill your shoes. You would be proud of him, He misses you more than ever.Its hard to watch mom and dad suffer and to see dad with tears in his eyes. My heart aches for them.Shannen is living alone now and I know she is hurting and that its hard for her to live without you. The pain that we are feeling is so intense. I only pray that it will lessen with time. Our life is changed forever, an emptiness I can’t explain. We have so many unanswered questions, like why? Even then, I don’t think that it would matter. What matters, is that we lost our big brother and we can’t have him back for now. We have to somehow find a place where we can start living again; I know that’s what you would like for us to do. I promise we will try o.k.I will miss you everyday that I live and Ill think of you too. We will all cry for a long time. So many people loved you. I hope that you knew it. A piece of my heart is gone; a part of my life is gone. Ill look to heaven for you. Please know that I love you, miss you and will forever remember you. I love you Danny. Colleen XXXOOO